As I write this, it’s been a bit over 6 months since we became a family of 4. Some of these 6 months coincide with the Covid-19 lockdown and being together at home. The 5 things listed below kept me sane and in a good mood throughout this period. They are also lessons I take with me as I shape my life from now on.
So what did I discover that really helped me do what I set my mind to do, stay sane and positive?
- Sleep is king. I cannot stress enough how important rest is for me. For all of us, actually. I knew the theory but now I saw better than ever before how sleeping impacts not just how much energy I have but who I show up as a person every single day. My concentration, how and what I eat, my patience, my presence, my ability to do sports...it’s all related to sleep.
For me it worked well to sleep early with Tudor and wake up early to have some time alone. Those hours before midnight are truly golden and more restful than the rest. I wouldn’t have done it had I not been “forced” by the circumstances. Even breastfeeding at night and the interruptions mattered less if I slept early.
During the first few weeks after giving birth I also napped sometimes. It’s often appealing to do other things when the baby sleeps but really, if you are a new mom or mom-to-be reading this...sleep, take the time you need to rest and leave everything else, no matter how urgent, to do later or for others to do it.
- Learning the real time it takes to do something. When planning something, I was generally underestimating the time it takes to connect various tasks. Let me know if you do this too.
For example, shopping usually takes me 1.5 hrs. In reality however, it takes 2 hrs or more because when you add the trip to the shop and back, loading, unloading, arranging the shopping, etc. I would always take more than 1.5 hrs. Always.
Realizing this really made a difference and helped me relax. I now know that to do things without rushing, I can plan at most 1 major thing in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. I love being busy and getting stuff done but I pace myself better now because I know that behind every activity there are a lot of smaller activities that come with it and that...guess what, take time!
- Cooking is not that hard. I was one of those people with yogurt, pesto and some cream cheese in the fridge. I saw no need to have more and although in my family of origin cooking is a big thing, I never felt the desire to learn how to cook and I always felt those who knew how to cook learned a lot to master the art.
This did not change when the kids came. It came from playing and realizing that cooking is not that hard and that instead of learning how to cook, all I needed was some courage to get started. Sure, I am no chef but I am a confident improviser which most of the times results in successful and appreciated dishes.
Moreover, I discovered that we as a family prefer dishes with few ingredients, natural, light; this makes my job easy but also exciting. I discovered new veggies, spices and wonderful tastes which don’t need a lot of preparation and are healthy.
- Me-time is precious. I am an introvert and although I really enjoy company, I need time alone to recharge. Now having a toddler who is an absolute extrovert and a small baby meant I would have little time alone, on my own. If you have kids, you know how it works. If you don’t, imagine that sometimes even showering is not a private affair anymore.
My solution to get some time alone was to get up early. At night I fall asleep instantly so mornings had to be it. Luckily, it worked really well because I was rested from getting enough sleep and from getting some of the more restful sleep before midnight. So I would be up around 5-5:30 and have until 7 or 8 to read, write, exercise, be with myself. By breakfast I would be done with a lot and feel amazing.
As Tudor is growing, he gets up earlier too so there is less of this me-time in the morning. However, because he can stay without me for a while longer during the day and my husband can also put him to sleep, I get me-time later during the day if mornings don’t work.
It’s not a perfect system yet but I don’t worry about it. I know this changes as the baby grows.
- Less is more. From the get go, I decided to focus on a few things that I wanted to get done on a daily basis and leave the rest on the side. I also decided that on some days not even the bare minimum will be manageable and that was OK.
The things I knew will matter to me were: to get daily out of the house for a short walk (15 minutes was my minimum), to read a bit daily (again a 15 minutes was my minimum), and to be mindful of the changing dynamics in the family as we moved from being 3 to being 4.
Luckily on most days I managed to do the minimum I set for myself. I believe in 6 months there were probably less than 10 days when I did not get outside for a short walk, did not read. I actually managed to do more quite often: I walked maybe above 25 minutes on average, I read and listen to books on audible for more than 15 minutes daily, I became more active on social media, even managed to sit down and work slowly on this website.
If you can think of things you do that are a must for you to be in your top shape, which are your top 3 or 5? With or without kids, before and during self-isolation, what keeps you sane, happy and energized?
Let me know. I would love to know your list.
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