We are what we think. It’s been said for thousands of years and proven so many times. We’re also conditioned by beliefs which sometimes help, sometimes don’t. In coaching using transactional analysis these beliefs put together form our life scripts. They matter because they are like a software we use to understand ourselves, the others, and the world we live in.

Take for example money. What has been the narrative around money in the family you grew up in? Was money a good thing? A bad thing? Were people with money seen as good people? Was money enough for everyone? What was money good for?

Or love. How do you know when someone else loves you? How does it feel when someone loves you? What do you expect from someone who loves you? Was love given freely and unconditionally? Were there strings attached? 

If you put together a group of people and just go through a few of the questions above, you’ll be surprised. Independently of the way things look from the outside, you are likely to be surprised by the variety of beliefs people have. If you dig deeper and go beyond the belief, you’ll find lots of situations where that belief was proven to be right. You’ll also be surprised by how strong they are. Some are so strong that they are not even thought to be beliefs; they come across as laws of nature, unchangeable, applied to everyone. Like gravity.

There are debates about whether scripts can be changed or not, whether we can be or not script-free. What’s not debated but accepted by everyone is that being aware of our own scripts helps us live a life being more connected to who we are and to those around us. It helps us to be more present and have more authentic relationships. It’s also not a debate the fact that our scripts helped us adapt and survive to grow into the adults we are today.

How much do you know about your own script? Have you explored it before?

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